WE DESERVE TO FEEL SAFE

Every behavior is born out of someone’s need for safety.

You, your child, your partner are all navigating the ups and downs of their nervous system and the physiological response to a perceived threat.

Relational safety: Am I loved unconditionally? Accepted? Or do I feel I am being rejected? Is my connection at stake?

Emotional safety: DO my feelings matter? Or do they trigger my caregiver or partner and am I not safe if I express them? Is my partner just trying to shut them off? Shut me off?

Physical Safety: When I am hurting, injured or frightened, are my feelings heard and honored and supported or dismissed as silly or unimportant?

Our nervous systems have become stuck on fight or flight as a result of years of walking on eggshells to avoid someone elses big explosions…we didn’t feel safe in our body, so now we can’t remember how to get there…how to return to rest, to peace within our body

We don’t even admit we feel unsafe…but we respond to someone tracking in mud or spilling the milk as if the house is on fire. We can’t see what is a little deal and what is a big deal.

And we inadvertently project this onto our partners and children and colleagues. We yell or freak out in a big scary way….because we do not feel a sense of safety in our body.

We can learn to know the difference. We are still safe if someone tracks in mud. We can meet inconveniences calmly. We can practice…

Find somewhere you are safe and go there for a moment. Remember the most beautiful place you have been. The sights, the sounds, the smells…Feel this in your body. Begin to practice.