Healing from Habitual Toxic Relationships

There is a moment in an unhealthy relationship when we feel trapped.

We feel broken and foolish.

We feel sad and lonely.

We feel angry.

We feel panic, desperate, anxious.

We try to help.

We try convincing.

We hide, pretend things are fine.

Where did we get lost on the way to what we thought was love? How can we feel complete?

Self-loathing begins to emerge as we ask ourselves how we arrived here in this moment again? “Why was I so attracted to this person?”

“But I love him.”

“But I said I would marry him.”

“But he is her father. “

Then a sinking realization whispering from our inner self:

“What if he teaches our child to treat people this way?”

“What if he teaches my child that it’s ok to treat women this way?”

And then an even louder whisper:

“What if I teach my son it’s ok to let people treat ME this way?”

“What message am I sending myself if I allow mistreatment of me?”

Because he needs me? Because he needs me to help him or he won’t be ok?

Why is it ok for me to throw myself under the proverbial bus?

When did I start believing I was not worthy of healthy relationships?

When did I start receiving messages that I am insignificant? Incapable? Worthless?

When did I start believing them?

Can I hear the voice inside myself telling me I have always deserved kindness and compassion and validation? That I deserve to feel safe in my close relationships. Held. Protected. Honored. I deserve to be heard. Can I hear the voice that knows, with certainty, that my voice matters?

When we begin to realize these essential truths that have quietly waited to be seen and heard inside each of us, we must take action.

It is time.

We must take a step towards our most precious selves. WE must begin to heal our relationship with ourselves.

WE must take our own tiny little tender heart and whisper kindness and listen for the Divine love that is in each of us. Let our tiny selves and our Divine selves know:

“ I am ready to do the protecting now.”

“ I am ready to allow healthy relationships in.”

“I am ready to say goodbye to patterns that cause me, and my loved ones harm.”